Society’s double standards never fails to astound me. Especially when it comes to expectations of men and women. A while ago I wrote about how society seems to be scared of the idea of a strong, confident woman. This seems to even extend to sexual advances. Why is it okay for men to have several one night stands, but for a woman it’s considered morally wrong? Why is it that so many men say they want a sexually confident woman, yet they feel intimidated when approached? Maybe society hasn’t advanced as much as we thought.

I was never really clued up on the social conventions of flirting, attraction and sexual advances. Throughout my high school years I was quite the odd one out. I didn’t even steal my first kiss until I was 17. However since finishing school and beginning university, a whole new world has emerged. I have always been oblivious to sexual advances and/or flirting towards me. If one of my female friend whispered to me ‘That guy is checking you out!’, I’d be the awkward idiot who’d spin around wildly shouting “WHERE?!”. Basically, I had no sensibility when it came to men until recently. Living in a large city with clued-up female friends has begun to make me aware of the goings on around me. But it’s also made me aware to the increasing double standards or society.

While it’s perfectly fine for a man to approach a woman with the sole objective of attaining sex, for women this is still — for some unknown and/or archaic reason — taboo. Several times in clubs, I’ve had men either approach me asking me to go home with them, or groping me so much I may as well have been their blow-up doll they store under their beds for those long, lonely nights. However, if we reverse the tables there’s still some sort of unthinkable violation associated with a woman being sexually forward that men seem to be intimidated by. While young men say in most magazines that they would love women to approach them, many are shocked, threatened and unresponsive when they are actually put in that position. I can actually vouch for this too.

Whether it’s man’s biological need for dominance and control or the fact a woman is shunning her anticipated, submissive role, there still seems to be some sort of problem. Of course, I’m not discussing all men. I know a few who do enjoy a woman taking control. However it’s not as where it should be. So, with men too scared to approach an attractive woman and women too scared of coming across too dominant to approach a man, where does this actually leave us? Probably something similar to your first high school dance where the hall with split into gender halves.

Frankly, we all need to loosen up. We’re young, we should be having fun with this, not being intimidated. For the men, there is nothing wrong with a confident woman. If you find the task of approaching her too daunting, what’s wrong with her approaching you? Nothing. it just shows the feeling is mutual. Women, we need to stop being terrorised by what men think about us. Am I too dominant? Is he intimated? Should I talk to him? The best advice to everyone is to stop beating around the bush and jump in head first. Stop being scared and intimidated by the opposite sex because in the end, they’re probably thinking the exact same thing as you.